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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

THE 10 TYPES OF RUNNERS

  • The Speed Freak - Buzzed Hair. Supershort shorts. Racing flats. Twitch in one eye.

Dangerous - Only if you get in his way.

  • The Weekend Warrior - Warrior tube socks. Midsection paunch. Grin. Headphones.

Dangerous - Only if you make fun of his socks.

  • The Penguin - Plodding determination. Fanny pack.

Dangerous - Only if you make fun of John Bingham

  • The Charity Runner - Selflessness. Tears. Matching outfits.

Dangerous - No...unless you are anti-"awareness."

  • The Ultra Guy - Lean and tan to the nth degree. Quiet. Hard as nails.

Dangerous - Only at an all-you-can-eat brunch buffet.

  • The Kicker - No distiguishing characteristics whatsoever...until he or she unleashes a stiff, tight-lipped, arm-pumping sprint in the final 100 meters of the race.

Dangerous - OH help you if you get in the way of those pumping arms.

  • The Old-Timer - Faded cotton T-shirt from the 1981 Peachtree 10k. Scar on neck from melanoma. Twinkle in eye. Conspicuous lack of gadgets. Advanced age.

Dangerous - Heck, no. These guys are great.

  • The Triathlete - Ironman tattoo. SKin-tight unitard, possibly emblazoned with sponsers' names. Comparatively large upper body. Vague smell of chlorine.

Dangerous - Only if you call him a unitard.

  • The Wacky Guy - "Antennas" headband, oversize novelty sunglasses, cowboy hat, kilt, superhero costume, etc. A grim determination to "have fun with it."

Dangerous - Probably not, although this guy might someday snap.

  • Joe Average - Nothing particular

Dangerous - Almost certainly.



Taken from my favorite running book; The Runner's Rule Book by Mark Remy

3 comments:

Katie @ Health for the Whole Self said...

Haha loved reading these!!! I've come across quite a few Ultra Guys in my day...

Johann said...

I've been branded an old timer with some ultra guy features. Yep, I have no gadgets and I'm working through my pile of t-shirts to run in. Currently running with some shirts from 1996 - 1998.

Trainer T.s Fitness said...

Great post I can really relate!

Thanks for the book tip, I will have to check it out :-)